From Mom Mode to Work Mode: Redefining Success on My Own Terms
A portrait with my son, taken the week I committed to being a full-time stay-at-home mom
I always knew that motherhood was a role I’d embrace—but I never expected to step into it in my late 30s. My consulting career kept me moving so fast that I rarely paused to consider the timing or path to parenthood. After my husband and I finally felt "ready" to grow our family, we were met with unforeseen challenges. Nearly two years of unexplained infertility shook us to the core, and we were just weeks away from exploring IVF when, miraculously, I became pregnant. That moment, when we first laid eyes on our baby, was one of the happiest days of our lives, filling us with an overwhelming mix of emotions.
From the moment I became a mom, everything changed. I was learning the joys and challenges of the postpartum experience, and I knew I never wanted to be away from my little one. With this in mind, I eventually decided to leave Byson and commit fully to being a stay-at-home mom. I’m immensely grateful for our family situation and my husband’s unwavering support, which made this choice possible—I know it isn’t a viable option for many families.
Our son proved early on that he was something special. He hit milestones quickly—walking at 10 months, running by 11 months, and talking coherently by 18 months. His natural curiosity and eagerness to explore led us to enroll him in preschool right after his second birthday. There, he blossomed: developing empathy, building friendships, and unleashing his creativity through art and imaginative play.
With preschool hours free, I initially found myself tempted by hobbies and TV marathons. But a burning desire to work—specifically on branding projects and creative challenges—began to stir in me. My biggest hurdle, though, was overcoming the insecurity of returning to the workforce after a two-year hiatus.
Rethinking “Lean In” and Embracing My Dual Identity
Early in my career, I was captivated by Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In—I absorbed every word as a young, eager consultant. Years before I became a mom, I was confronted with a hard truth: I would have to choose between career and family. When I was presented with a significant career opportunity and asked about the possibility of starting a family in the near future, I was told that perhaps this opportunity wasn’t for me. That moment weighed heavily on me and left a lasting impact.
Yet, I never fully grasped the “lean in” movement’s impact on working mothers until I became one myself. When I returned from maternity leave, I found myself caught in the trap of trying to do it all: be the proactive C-level partner while also being the perfect modern mom—mastering baby-led weaning, organic cooking, and maintaining my own emotional balance. I was carrying an immense internal pressure to excel in both realms. Over time, I came to view choosing to be a full-time stay-at-home mom not as a loss of a former identity but as a conscious, valuable decision—a challenging transition that many former career women grapple with as they redefine themselves beyond work.
Systemic gender discrimination continues to cast a long shadow in both our professional and personal lives and mothers face unique challenges. Despite her proven expertise, subtle biases often raise doubts about a mother's commitment or capability. While fathers are frequently lauded for balancing work and family, mothers can be penalized for taking maternity leave, seeking flexible work arrangements, or prioritizing family responsibilities. Such double standards not only hinder career advancement but also reinforce the outdated notion that caregiving and professional success are mutually exclusive.
Even when progressive policies—like family leave and flexible hours—exist, deep-seated cultural attitudes and stereotypes can undermine their effectiveness. Society often expects mothers to shoulder an overwhelming share of unpaid emotional and domestic labor, leaving little room for self-care or professional growth. In this climate, the relentless pressure to “have it all” can leave many feeling as if they’re failing in one aspect of their lives or another. True progress requires not just acknowledging these systemic issues, but also transforming workplace cultures and societal norms to genuinely support every woman's journey.
I once attended a women’s networking event during my consulting days where a panelist shared how she and her husband switched roles. Initially, she had quit her leadership role to be a stay-at-home mom, only to find that both of them were struggling. When they eventually reversed roles, the family dynamic improved dramatically—and she became a better mother, not because of the sheer quantity of time spent with her children, but the quality of that time. That insight has stayed with me. While I cherish every moment with my son, dedicating time to growing my business has made me even more present when we’re together.
Today, I accept that I can be a dedicated mom in this season of life—and that’s perfectly okay. I no longer feel the need to prove my worth as a prolific entrepreneur to validate my value. I am both a loving mom and a talented professional and embracing this dual identity makes me whole. My journey currently isn’t about choosing one role over the other; it’s about honoring both.
At the same time, I wholeheartedly celebrate the diverse paths women choose. Whether you’re a successful professional who has found what works for your family, a woman who has committed fully to raising her children without plans to return to work, or someone who has chosen a child-free life, each journey is valid and worthy of admiration. We each define our own success, and it’s time we recognize and support every unique path.
